Monday, August 24, 2009

Life Expected

When I was a girl I often thought of how my life would be when I grew up. I probably thought about this more than most little girls because I knew I would one day be able to escape a really messed up home with really messed up values. The picture I painted for myself always had a nice house, a handsome husband (always an Air Force pilot since I spent ten years of my life at living at the Air Force Academy), and a couple of kids. There were rarely any details of the house and the people in the family were faceless, but they were safe and consistent and usually sober.

When I actually had the opportunity to leave home for college I picked a school 2500 miles away from my parents. I knew their visits would be less frequent than at a school close, and fewer visits meant fewer confrontations. The problem was I was a pretty messed up young lady who made some very bad choices. To say I was reckless would be an understatement…I lived on the wild side, and thrived on adrenaline and risk taking. Most brilliant decisions were accompanied by a Crown and Coke or a Moose Head which made decisions all the more brilliant.

I got married in college to a pretty nice guy. He wasn’t the love of my life, but he was fun and handsome and we could put away equal amounts of beer in any given night. We spent a couple of years having fun then a little over a year being miserable and finally parted ways.

After this the recklessness ensued again. I loved being single and wild and partying and sleeping late. I didn’t have to answer to anyone and really liked it that way. This wild single life would be short lived because I met my Hero on a blind date and began our life together…faithless, unmarried, and both carrying an exhausting amount of baggage.

Fast forward ten year, skipping a whole lot of details, we are filled with love for our Lord, passionate for each other, and blessed with two beautiful, healthy children. We have our dream home, and paid for cars, and a church we love. Needless to say, life is GOOD!

After the conference I went to this weekend I really thought about what I had wanted out of life. What I have received is SO much better than I ever could have dreamed. I am truly amazed at how good God has been to me; protecting me from myself when I cared so little I almost died, salvaging a relationship with the father of my children, giving me the strength to handle all the things Satan has thrown against me.

I am so thankful I didn’t get the life I expected, the husband I imagined, the way I thought it was going to be. I am blessed beyond belief, and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for not giving me the life I expected. Thank you for the blessings you have bestowed on me and my family.
I pray today for all my friends to find the blessings in their life which are so much better than they expected.
In Jesus sweet, sweet name,


  1. AMEN! Wow! this sounds just like my life. Isn't it wonderful how Wonderful He is! Thanks for sharing...hugs rozzi

  2. Little do we know in comparison to what He is faithful to teach us. You inspire me to keep going when it looks like there is no way. Let me share with you what I was told this morning from a friend to encourage you as well to strive to reach for more.

    By Chuck D. Pierce

    On Sunday, August 16, I heard the Spirit of God say, "Some of you have had the fight knocked out of you. The Spirit of God is bringing a new wind of strength to cause a new fight to rise up in you. The fight has been knocked out of you because you stayed in an atmosphere too long."

    Anne Tate began to prophesy: "At this time I am breaking old associations and configurations. ..."

    I then heard the Lord say: "Rise up! Let My atmosphere rise up around you and cut the ties necessary so that I can cause you to fight again and be set into a changing wind. I am breaking down the old structure you've been protecting. It is you [who] has been protecting an old structure saying, ‘Remake what I'm comfortable in.' I'm breaking that down.

    "Catch the changing wind of My Spirit, for you will land in a new place, in a new dimension of My Spirit. You will say, ‘I see a new land, and I'm leaving the winds from the wilderness.'

    "You had expectations in some relationships that you're still trying to work out. I've been contending to cut you loose from those relationships. I am contending over you so that you rise up above the inordinate structure of the enemy that has been placed around you.

    "Get ready to rise up, for I am contending, and My sword is the strongest. Raise your sails and catch the wind. You have been in a dry and desolate land. But even though water has not been there for you to move forward, I will send the water if you will raise the sail.

    "This is a week to know My presence. This is a time to know My ark and to know what ark you are to enter to journey into your future. I am causing My presence to flood in the land. Raise your sail and watch the glory begin to take you to a new place.

    "Don't hesitate. Hesitation is set as a snare to My movement for your life. Let your faith push you and catapult you. When you hear the wind of truth being spoken into a situation, move immediately. You don't want to miss the boat. You don't want to miss your proper alignment.

    "Don't hesitate. Delay is set as a trap. The word is critical in this hour. The intensity that is behind the word is pushing you forward at speeds and levels that we know not of, so don't hesitate and don't fall for the trap.

    "Within the sands of your desert, there is a highway. But in the sands of your desert you have grown accustomed to the atmosphere and the sherakah wind that has been around you. In the sands of your desert, create a new atmosphere and I will cause that highway that is down deep to rise up.

  3. Yea, the life I prayed for.... is not what I got. THANK GOD! The things I thought I wanted, were not to be. Thank GOD! Praise God that He knows best and gives me the BEST for me.