Planner Giveway, Yes please, I want in!

I have a new addiction. Well not so much an addiction as a new favorite website. The first thing most of you who know me will immediately think Pinterest. Although I love this one and can easily waste a number of hours there each day it is not my new fave.

My new fave stems from our new (relatively) homeschooling way of life. It is Home Educating Family and I just can't get enough. The reviews about homeschooling products are amazing and useful. The magazine, which available online, comes to my home as scheduled and I love curling up with it for a quiet read. The planners are beautiful too. I ordered one this past year and LOVED it, so I have a new one for '12-'13. They also have an utterly indescribably online homeschool convention...online convention you say? Yep, with speakers and vendor halls and everything. You have to check it out, even if you are not a homeschooling mama or daddy you will find useful information on the site.

What I am most excited about this week though is the giveaway. Who me, like a giveaway? You betcha! Check out the Weekly Giveaway to see this amazing tool. It is a homeschool parent's dream for scheduling software. It can keep track of dozens of kids, in dozens of grades, with dozens of assignments...and keep your household management schedule on track too. Not only all this, but it is pretty too. I can't wait to get my hands on this product and look forward to reviewing it after using it for a month or two.

Check them out, enjoy their amazing site, and learn a ton. You won't regret looking into my new addiction.

Blog...Waiting

I love having a blog...not so much being a blogger, but having a blog. I am secure knowing it is always waiting patiently for me, with no expectations, and happy when I return for a visit.

My first blog post ever was so very true. I WANT to be a blogger, I really, really do. But I find myself distracted so easily, and then life happens, and I get sleepy, and I get busy, and I find myself on my knees asking for strentgh to get through the day... And the blog? It waits patiently for my triumphant return.

See my blog knows I am constantly thinking about it. It knows I have posts constantly running through my head, chomping at the bit to get posted. My blog is secure in the knowledge that I love it and care deeply for it and I will certainly return, eventually.

Maybe this summer will be the summer I really become the blogger my blog knows I have locked away inside. I am certain life would be much simpler if some of the ideas came out the fingers and stopped bouncing around in my head. I would love to be one of those goal driven gals that said something like, "This summer I will post a minimum of five writings per week!" But I know myself well enough to know that is definitely not an effective method to inspire me to get the fingers moving. We will see how it goes.

Again I say, I want to be a blogger, I really do.

Dear Sixteen Year Old Rachel

Dear Sixteen Old Rachel,

Happy Birthday wild child! I know you had the most amazing day driving to school and getting your license today, what a blast! French silk pie and all your friends over for a great party, but hang on to your seat, you have no idea what is in store for you!

You are going to have a wild ride. That boy you think is so sweet right now is a dork (you will find this out in 20 years). The next boy you adore will have the brains of a turnip...he is a super hot turnip, but a turnip none the less. When you are 20 you are going to think you have found the love of your life...for the fifth time. He is just a passing fancy, your heart will recover and so will his. ;) The love of you life when you are 21 will have no problem sending you 2500 miles to college, you will recover from this one as well. The first husband will treat you well, but will still not be the right fit. In fact, the one who will truly capture your heart won't show up for what seems to you now like a gazillion years. He is going to give you two amazing babies and love you like you never knew a person could love.

You are going to have so much fun! You will get in to SO much trouble as well...but there is so much more you will get away with...you are going to think you are invincible. Fast cars won't kill you, even though you total three of them. The boys won't break your heart. The cigarettes you think are cool right now really will disgust you in a number of years and you will quit, so they won't kill you either. Any other experiments you might have will just season you for the future.

You are going to lose your dad way too soon...and for a time you will be certain you have lost your mother as well. You will band close to your brother and find comfort in your family and friends through this dark time. I promise you there is light at the end of that tunnel.

The most amazing thing will happen in your thirties though. You will find out you have had someone by your side through all of these times. When you walked out of that car that rolled over and over down that hill, when you drove through Pacific Beach too toasted to walk let alone drive, when you moved across the country, when you cheated on a test, when you finished college, when your dad dies...God will be holding you in the palm of your hand. THE ENTIRE TIME! I know you don't believe me now, you don't think He even exists, but He is real and you will be so utterly blown away by his grace and love when you finally realize how real He is.

Don't regret a single thing you do (even when you know better) because all will be forgiven when the time is right. Have a blast on your journey, know you are loved, and remember no matter how dark it gets you are never alone.

Be blessed Sixteen Year Old Rachel! I love you, and occasionally miss you, and wish you the ride of your life!

Love,
Forty Year Old Rachel

Exciting Curriculum Program

I've been invited to try Time4Learning for one month in exchange for a candid review. My opinion will be entirely my own, so be sure to come back and read about my experience. Time4Learning can be used as a homeschool curriculum, for afterschool enrichment and for summer skill sharpening. Find out how to write your own curriculum review for Time4Learning.

Adjustments

Change is good, right? Sometimes I wonder. Although usually I receive opportunities for change with open arms I am finding transitions lately to be a bit of a challenge. It isn’t so much that I am set in my ways or enjoy my current routine enough that I do not want to take on anything different, but the changes I am feeling called to make are new territory for me.

I don’t want to have to really evaluate a few things, only a few, I am not good at. But I am certain God has put a path in front of me which will force me to take action in some areas of my life I have been completely ignoring. There are some things I prefer to ignore as long as they do not relate to the health and well being of my family. But I suppose if they are things that God has commanded His people to do I should probably find a way to come up with a little follow-through.

What I find so comical about the situation is that none of the things He wants me to do are that difficult. Really the most difficult challenge will be purging some ineffective habits and creating new ones. But the routine I have created is so utterly comfortable…and yet completely unproductive to achieve the goals He has set forth…and I have accepted. Yep, I was asked by one of His agents to do something, knowing it would take some significant changes, I said yes…really, what was I thinking.

So as First Born takes off to third grade and Small One tackles kindergarten I will have my own challenges and adjustments to make. I pray God guides me through this process He has called me to, and I feel His presence every step of the way. 

Judgmental People

I have determined I do not like judgmental people. You know, the ones who are always looking down their nose at someone and finding fault with nearly everyone they encounter. Their choices, lifestyles, family and work are always better, more fun, healthier and more perfect that those around them. I don’t know what makes people this way. I am certain it is often times caused by an internal feeling of inferiority. Certainly if someone is less something you must be good enough, right? Sometimes I think people just don’t know any better.

I used to love being one of the judgmental people. I wouldn’t have been called a “Chatty Kathy” but the term “Catty Kathy” would certainly have applied. Not only did I find myself greatly entertained by poking fun but I was one of the “don’t know any betters’.” I thought one of the most fun ways to spend an afternoon was hanging at the mall looking at all the what part of that did she think looked good when she checked the mirror this morning people. Oh the sheer joys in finding fault with others poor taste in clothing, or hairstyle, or gait, or who they chose to be with. Snicker, snicker, “what was she THINKING?”

And then somewhere along the way I came to know better. I realized that finding fault with others isn’t really very funny and never really made me feel any better. It is not nice nor is it not biblical. I have come a long way from the catty girl I once was, but every now and then a bit of snippiness flits through my brain…but now it never makes it past my lips. See, I try to remember I have a beam in my eye.

So now I find myself in a dilemma. I don’t want to be judgmental nor do I like judgmental people. But by determining I do not like someone for being judgmental am I thereby judging them myself? And if I tell someone I think they are being judgmental am I then putting my own judgment to voice? I don’t know how to sever judgmental people from my life, but I am finding keeping them is more trouble than they are worth. 

For He Existed

Today, the two year anniversary of my father's death and the eve of the spreading of his ashes, I find my brain swirling with memories and stalling with what to do next. I ache with the memories of this day two years ago and I rejoice with the knowledge that dad is pain free.

I don't know what emotions tomorrow will bring...the hike to his final resting place is exhausting in and of itself. There will be people there, probably too many for true peace to surround me. It is a moment I suspect I will want to be in solitude and allow myself time to be introspective. Alas, with fourteen others with me, I know this will be a challenge. If God so chooses I know He will facilitate the peace my heart desires. 


As I think of tomorrow and reminisce the words of Maya Angelou fill my head...I think I have reached the place of blooming peace. Although sporadic and unhurried the moments do come, and I think God for them, and know my heart is healing. 

When Great Trees Fall
Maya Angelou

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly.  Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed.  They existed.
We can be.  Be and be
better.  For they existed.

Thank you Dr. Angelou for knowing my heart.